Social connection

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Social connection is the experience of feeling close and connected to others. It involves feeling loved, cared for, and valued, and forms the basis of interpersonal relationships.

Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship. —Brené Brown, Professor of Social Work at the University of Houston

Increasingly, social connection is understood as a core human need, and the desire to connect as a fundamental drive. It is crucial to development; without it, social animals experience distress and face severe developmental consequences. In humans, one of the most social species, social connection is essential to nearly every aspect of health and well-being. Lack of connection, or loneliness, has been linked to inflammation, accelerated aging and cardiovascular health risk, suicide, and all cause mortality.

Feeling socially connected is related to the quality and number of connections one has with family, friends, and acquaintances. Going beyond the individual level, it also involves a feeling of connecting to a larger community. Connectedness on a community level benefits both individuals and society.

Related terms

• Social support is the help, advice, and comfort that we receive from those with whom we have stable, positive relationships. Importantly, it appears to be the perception, or feeling, of being supported, rather than objective number of connections, that appears to buffer stress and affect our health and psychology most strongly.
• Close relationships refer to those relationships between friends or romantic partners that are characterized by love, caring, commitment, and intimacy.
• Attachment is a deep emotional bond between two people, a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings." Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby during the 1950s, is a theory that remains influential in psychology today.

A basic need

Social connection involves feeling loved, cared for, and valued, and is as important to our well-being as food or water.

 

In his influential theory on the hierarchy of needs, Abraham Maslow proposed that our physiological needs are the most basic and necessary to our survival, and must be satisfied before we can move on to satisfying more complex social needs like love and belonging. However, research over the past few decades has begun to shift our understanding of this hierarchy. Social connection and belonging may in fact be a basic need, as powerful as our need for food or water. Mammals are born relatively helpless, and rely on their caregivers not only for affection, but for survival. This may be evolutionarily why mammals need and seek connection, and also for why they suffer prolonged distress and health consequences when that need is not met.

In 1965, Harry Harlow conducted his landmark monkey studies. He separated baby monkeys from their mothers, and observed which surrogate mothers the baby monkeys bonded with: a wire "mother" that provided food, or a cloth "mother" that was soft and warm. Overwhelmingly, the baby monkeys preferred to spend time clinging to the cloth mother, only reaching over to the wire mother when they became too hungry to continue without food. This study questioned the idea that food is the most powerful primary reinforcement for learning. Instead, Harlow's studies suggested that warmth, comfort, and affection (as perceived from the soft embrace of the cloth mother) are crucial to the mother-child bond, and may be a powerful reward that mammals may seek in and of itself. Although historic, it is important to acknowledge that this study does not meet current research standards for the ethical treatment of animals.

In 1995, Roy Baumeister proposed his influential belongingness hypothesis: that human beings have a fundamental drive to form lasting relationships, to belong. He provided substantial evidence that indeed, the need to belong and form close bonds with others is itself a motivating force in human behavior. This theory is supported by evidence that people form social bonds form relatively easily, are reluctant to break social bonds, interpret situations with how they affect their relationships in mind. He also contends that our emotions are so deeply linked to our relationships that one of the primary functions of emotion may be to form and maintain social bonds, and that both partial and complete deprivation of relationships leads to not only painful but pathological consequences. Satisfying or disrupting our need to belong, our need for connection, has been found to influence cognition, emotion, and behavior.

Neurobiology

Brain areas

Social connection activates the reward system of the brain.

 

While it appears that social isolation triggers a "neural alarm system" of threat-related regions of the brain (including the amygdala, dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC), anterior insula, and periaqueductal gray (PAG)), separate regions may process social connection. Two brain areas that are part of the brain's reward system are also involved in processing social connection and attention to loved ones: the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (VMPFC), a region that also responds to safety and inhibits threat responding, and the ventral striatum (VS) and septal area (SA), part of a neural system that is activated by taking care of one's own young.

Key neurochemicals

Opioids

In 1978, neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp observed that small doses of opiates reduced the distressed cries of puppies that were separated from their mothers. As a result, he developed the brain opioid theory of attachment, which posits that endogenous (internally produced) opioids underlie the pleasure that social animals derive from social connection, especially within close relationships. Extensive animal research supports this theory. Mice who have been genetically modified to not have mu-opioid receptors (mu-opioid receptor knockout mice), as well as sheep with their mu-receptors blocked temporarily following birth, do not recognize or bond with their mother. When separated from their mother and conspecifics, rats, chicks, puppies, guinea pigs, sheep, dogs, and primates emit distress vocalizations, however giving them morphine (i.e. activating their opioid receptors), quiets this distress. Endogenous opioids appear to be produced when animals engage in bonding behavior, while inhibiting the release of these opioids results in signs of social disconnection. In humans, blocking mu-opioid receptors with the opioid antagonist, naltrexone, has been found to reduce feelings of warmth and affection in response to a film clip about a moment of bonding, and to increase feelings of social disconnection towards loved ones in daily life as well as in the lab in response to a task designed to elicit feelings of connection. Although the human research on opioids and bonding behavior is mixed and ongoing, this suggests that opioids may underlie feelings of social connection and bonding in humans as well.

Oxytocin

Opioids and oxytocin are neurochemicals that support the mother-child bond in humans and other mammals.

 

In mammals, oxytocin has been found to be released during childbirth, breastfeeding, sexual stimulation, bonding, and in some cases stress. In 1992, Sue Carter discovered that administering oxytocin to prairie voles would accelerate their monogamous pair-bonding behavior. Oxytocin has also been found to play many roles in the bonding between mother and child. In addition to pair-bonding and motherhood, oxytocin has been found to play a role in prosocial behavior and bonding in humans. Nicknamed the “love drug” or “cuddle chemical,” plasma levels of oxytocin increase following physical affection, and are linked to more trusting and generous social behavior, positively biased social memory, attraction, and anxiety and hormonal responses. Further supporting a nuanced role in adult human bonding, greater circulating oxytocin over a 24 hour period was associated with greater love and perceptions of partner responsiveness and gratitude, however was also linked to perceptions of a relationship being vulnerable and in danger. Thus oxytocin may play a flexible role in relationship maintenance, supporting both the feelings that bring us closer and the distress and instinct to fight for an intimate bond in peril.

Health

Consequences of disconnection

A wide range of mammals, including rats, prairie voles, guinea pigs, cattle, sheep, primates, and humans, experience distress and long-term deficits when separated from their parent. In humans, long-lasting health consequences result from early experiences of disconnection. In 1958, John Bowlby observed profound distress and developmental consequences when orphans lacked warmth and love of our first and most important attachments: our parents. Loss of a parent during childhood was found to lead to altered cortisol and sympathetic nervous system reactivity even a decade later, and affect stress response and vulnerability to conflict as a young adult.

In addition to the health consequences of lacking connection in childhood, chronic loneliness at any age has been linked to a host of negative health outcomes. In a meta-analytic review conducted in 2010, results from 308,849 participants across 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships had a 50% greater change of survival. This effect on mortality is not only on par with one of the greatest risks, smoking, but exceeds many other risk factors such as obesity and physical inactivity. Loneliness has been found to negatively affect the healthy function of nearly every system in the body: the brain, immune system, circulatory and cardiovascular systems, endocrine system, and genetic expression.

Between 15-30% of the general population feels chronic loneliness.

 

Not only is social isolation harmful to health, but it is more and more common. As many as 80% of young people under 18 years old, and 40% of adults over the age of 65 report being lonely sometimes, and 15-30% of the general population feel chronic loneliness. These numbers appear to be on the rise, and researchers have called for social connection to be public health priority.

The "social" immune system

One of the main ways social connection may affect our health is through the immune system. The immune system's primary activity, inflammation, is the body's first line of defense against injury and infection. However, chronic inflammation has been tied to atherosclerosis, Type II diabetes, neurodegeneration, and cancer, as well as compromised regulation of inflammatory gene expression by the brain. Research over the past few decades has revealed that the immune system not only responds to physical threats, but social ones as well. It has become clear that there is a bidirectional relationship between circulating biomarkers of inflammation (e.g. the cytokine IL-6) and feelings of social connection and disconnection; not only are feelings of social isolation are linked to increased inflammation, but experimentally induced inflammation alters social behavior and induces feelings of social isolation. This has important health implications. Feelings of chronic loneliness appear to trigger chronic inflammation. However, social connection appears to inhibit inflammatory gene expression and increase antiviral responses. Performing acts of kindness for others were also found to have this effect, suggesting that helping others provides similar health benefits.

Why might our immune system respond to our perceptions of our social world? One theory is that it may have been evolutionarily adaptive for our immune system to "listen" in to our social world to anticipate the kinds of bacterial or microbial threats we face. In our evolutionary past, feeling socially isolated may have meant we were separated from our tribe, and therefore more likely to experience physical injury or wounds, requiring an inflammatory response to heal. On the other hand, feeling connected may have meant we were in relative physical safety of community, but at greater risk of socially transmitted viruses. To meet these threats with greater efficiency, the immune system responds with anticipatory changes. A genetic profile was discovered to initiate this pattern of immune response to social adversity and stress — up-regulation of inflammation, down-regulation of antiviral activity — known as Conserved Transcriptional Response to Adversity. The inverse of this pattern, associated with social connection, has been linked to positive health outcomes as well as eudaemonic well-being.

Positive pathways

Social connection and support have been found to reduce the physiological burden of stress and contribute to health and well-being through several other pathways as well, although there remains a subject of ongoing research. One way social connection reduces our stress response is by inhibiting activity in our pain and alarm neural systems. Brain areas that respond to social warmth and connection (notably, the septal area) have inhibitory connections to the amygdala, which have the structural capacity to reduce threat responding.

Another pathway by which social connection positive affects health is through the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), the "rest and digest" system which parallels and offsets the "flight or fight" sympathetic nervous system (SNS). Flexible PNS activity, indexed by vagal tone, helps regulate the heart rate has been linked to a healthy stress response as well as numerous positive health outcomes. Vagal tone has been found to predict both positive emotions and social connectedness, which in turn result in increased vagal tone, in an "upward spiral" of well-being. Social connection often occurs along with and causes positive emotions, which themselves benefit our health.

Measures

Social Connectedness Scale

This scale was designed to measure general feelings of social connectedness as an essential component of belongingness. Items on the Social Connectedness Scale reflect feelings of emotional distance between the self and others, and higher scores reflect more social connectedness.

UCLA Loneliness Scale

Measuring feelings of social isolation or disconnection can be helpful as an indirect measure of feelings connectedness. This scale is designed to measure loneliness, defined as the distress that results when one feels disconnected from others.

Relationship Closeness Inventory (RCI)

This measure conceptualizes closeness in a relationship as a high level of interdependence in two people's activities, or how much influence they have over one another. It correlates moderately with self-reports of closeness, measured using the Subjective Closeness Index (SCI).

Liking and Loving Scales

These scales were developed to measure the difference between liking and loving another person -- critical aspects of closeness and connection. Good friends were found to score highly on the liking scale, and only romantic partners scored highly on the loving scale. They support Zick Rubin's conceptualization of love as containing three main components: attachment, caring, and intimacy

Personal Acquaintance Measure (PAM)

This measure identifies six components that can help determine the quality of a person's interactions and feelings of social connectedness with others:

1. Duration of relationship
2. Frequency of interaction with the other person
3. Knowledge of the other person's goals
4. Physical intimacy or closeness with the other person
5. Self-disclosure to the other person
6. Social network familiarity—how familiar is the other person with the rest of your social circle

Experimental manipulations

Social connection is a unique, elusive, person-specific quality of our social world. Yet, can it be manipulated? This is a crucial question for how it can be studied, and whether it can be intervened on in a public health context. There are at least two approaches that researchers have taken to manipulate social connection in the lab:

Social connection task

This task was developed at UCLA by Tristen Inagaki and Naomi Eisenberger to elicit feelings of social connection in the laboratory. It consists of collecting positive and neutral messages from 6 loved ones of a participant, and presenting them to the participant in the laboratory. Feelings of connection and neural activity in response to this task have been found to rely on endogenous opioid activity.

Closeness-generating procedure

Arthur Aron at the State University of New York at Stony Brook and collaborators designed a series of questions designed to generate interpersonal closeness between two individuals who have never met. It consists of 36 questions that subject pairs ask each other over a 45 minute period. It was found to generate a degree of closeness in the lab, and can be more carefully controlled than connection within existing relationships.

Envy

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Portrait of a demented woman or The monomaniac of jealousy (also named The Hyena of la Salpêtrière), by Théodore Géricault, c. 1819-1822, Museum of Fine Arts of Lyon

Envy (from Latin invidia) is an emotion which "occurs when a person lacks another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it".

Aristotle defined envy as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune, stirred by “those who have what we ought to have.” Bertrand Russell said that envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness. Not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his or her envy, Russell explained, but that person may also wish to inflict misfortune on others, in forms of emotional abuse and violent acts of criminality. Although envy is generally seen as something negative, Russell also believed that envy was a driving force behind the movement of economies and must be endured to achieve the "keep up with Jones" system. He believed this is what helps to maintain democracy, a system where no one can achieve more than anyone else.

Types of envy

Psychologists have recently suggested that there are two types of envy: malicious envy and benign envy—malicious envy being proposed as a sick force that ruins a person and his/her mind and causes the envious person to blindly want the "hero" to suffer; on the other hand, benign envy being proposed as a type of positive motivational force that causes the person to aspire to be as good as the "hero"—but only if benign envy is used in a right way. However, Sherry Turkle considers that the advent of social media and selfie culture is creating an alienating sense of “self-envy” psyche in users, and posits this further affects problem areas attached to attachments. Envy and gloating have parallel structures as emotions.

The only type of envy that can have positive effects is benign envy. According to researchers, benign envy can provide emulation, improvement motivation, positive thoughts about the other person, and admiration. This type of envy, if dealt with correctly, can positively effect a persons future by motivating them to be a better person and to succeed. Our human instinct is to avoid negative aspects in life such as the negative emotion, envy. However, it is possible to turn this negative emotional state into a motivational tool that can help a person to become successful in the future.

Socioevolutionary view

Invidia, allegorical painting by Giotto di Bondone, ca. 1305-1306

One theory that helps explain envy and its effects on human behavior is the Socioevolutionary theory. Based upon (Charles) Darwin's (1859) theory of evolution through natural selection, socioevolutionary theory predicts that humans behave in ways that enhance individual survival and the reproduction of their genes. Thus, this theory provides a framework for understanding social behavior and experiences, such as the experience and expression of envy, as rooted in biological drives for survival and procreation. Recent studies have demonstrated that inciting envy actually changes cognitive function, boosting mental persistence and memory.

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude means taking pleasure in the misfortune of others and can be understood as an outgrowth of envy in certain situations.

Envy and Schadenfreude are very similar and are linked emotional states. Both emotions are considered very complex and often times looked down upon, which is understandable considering they are both antisocial behaviors. Given the detrimental states of these emotions, it is very important to understand their development in the early stages of childhood. 

The two social emotions, envy and schadenfreude act together as sister emotions during the developmental stages in adolescents. Both emotions have a strong presence during these early stages in a child's life. However, as a person ages ,the more they begin to conceal these “bad” emotions and learn to regulate. 

In previous studies, it has been shown that envy becomes less prevalent as a child gets older. Researchers believe that this results from an increase in the regulation of envious type emotions as a person ages and gains more wisdom about life. Depending on age, the correlation of envy and schadenfreude increases. For example a younger child is more likely to make spiteful decisions when they feel envious towards a person.

Regarding possessions or status

Hieronymus Bosch, The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things (Invidia)

 

Often, envy involves a motive to "outdo or undo the rival's advantages". In part, this type of envy may be based on materialistic possessions rather than psychological states. Basically, people find themselves experiencing an overwhelming emotion due to someone else owning or possessing desirable items that they do not. For example, your next door neighbor just bought a brand new ocarina—a musical instrument you've been infatuated with for months now but can't afford. Feelings of envy in this situation would occur in the forms of emotional pain, a lack of self-worth, and a lowered self-esteem/well-being. 

In Nelson Aldrich's Old Money, he states that "envy is so integral and painful a part of what animates human behavior in market societies that many people have forgotten the full meaning of the word, simplifying it into one of the symptoms of desire. It is that (a symptom of desire), which is why it flourishes in market societies: democracies of desire, they might be called, with money for ballots, stuffing permitted. But envy is more or less than desire. It begins with the almost frantic sense of emptiness inside oneself, as if the pump of one's heart were sucking on air. One has to be blind to perceive the emptiness, of course, but that's what envy is, a selective blindness. Invidia, Latin for envy, translates as "nonsight," and Dante had the envious plodding along under cloaks of lead, their eyes sewn shut with leaden wire. What they are blind to is what they have, God-given and humanly nurtured, in themselves".

Overcoming

Envy may negatively affect the closeness and satisfaction of relationships. Overcoming envy might be similar to dealing with other negative emotions (anger, resentment, etc.). Individuals experiencing anger often seek professional treatment (anger management) to help understand why they feel the way they do and how to cope. Subjects experiencing envy often have a skewed perception on how to achieve true happiness. By helping people to change these perceptions, they will be more able to understand the real meaning of fortune and satisfaction with what they do have. According to Lazarus "coping is an integral feature of the emotion process". There are very few theories that emphasize the coping process for emotions as compared to the information available concerning the emotion itself.

There are numerous styles of coping, of which there has been a significant amount of research done, for example, avoidant versus approach. Coping with envy can be similar to coping with anger. The issue must be addressed cognitively in order to work through the emotion. According to the research done by Salovey and Rodin (1988), "more effective strategies for reducing initial envy appear to be stimulus focused rather than self-focused.". Salovey and Rodin (1988) also suggest "self-bolstering (e.g., "thinking about my good qualities") may be an effective strategy for moderating these self-deprecating thoughts and muting negative affective reactions". Further research needs to be done in order to better understand envy, as well as to help people cope with this emotion.

Benefits

Envy can be a painful emotion that can result from an unflattering social comparison of someone who is perceived to be a superior person. Aristotle defined envy as the pain a person experiences at the sight of another person’s good fortune. While envy is seen to be negative, it is the driving force behind the “keeping up with the Jones” philosophy. This means that there is always something to work toward, and to never become complacent with life.

Envy can tell a person many things about themselves. It can tell them who they admire, what they want, and where they can grow. Being envious of another person can seem negative at that moment but has the potential to have positive effects in the future. For example, if a person envies someone who is successful it might drive them to work harder and to be more diligent which can in turn can attribute to their success in the long run.

Envy and Adolescence

Children show evidence of envy at an early age. Adults can be just as envious, however, they tend to be better at concealing the emotion. Envy plays a significant role in the development of adolescents. Comparing oneself is a universal aspect of human nature. No matter the age or culture, social comparison happens all over the globe. Comparison can range from physical attributes, material possessions and intelligence. However,children are more likely to envy over material objects such as shoes, video games, iPhone ect. Kids believe these material objects are correlated to their status. 

Social status has been found to have a strong connection with self-esteem. An adolescents self-esteem is very fragile during early years and is heavily impacted by peer opinion. If a child is comfortable with who they are and self-confident they are less likely to become envious of others material objects because they do not self-identify with materials. Material objects are not the only things that adolescents become envious over, however it is the most prevalent.

 

As children get older they develop stronger non-materialistic envy such as romantic relationships, physical appearance, achievement, and popularity. Sometimes envious feelings are internalized in children, having a negative impact on their self-esteem. Envy comes from comparing, these comparisons can serve as a reminder that they have failed social norms and do not fit in with their peers. A feeling of inadequacy can arise and become destructive to a child’s happiness and cause further internal damage. 

A child's identity is formed during their early years. Identity development is considered the central task during adolescence. When children grow up understanding who they are, they are able to better define what their strengths and weaknesses are while comparing themselves to others. Comparison can have two outcomes, it can be healthy in aiding in self-improvement or it can be unhealthy and result in envy/jealousy which can develop into depression. This is why self-exploration and identity development are critical in adolescent years.

It is important to identify healthy and unhealthy envy in a child at an early age. If a child is showing signs of unhealthy envy, it is best to teach the child productive ways to handle these emotions. It is much easier to teach a child how to control their emotions while they are young rather than allowing them to develop a habit that is hard to break when they are older.

Envy and adulthood

The things that drive people mad with envy changes throughout their lifetime. Studies have shown that the younger the person, the more likely they are to be envious of others. Adults under the age of 30 are more likely to experience envy compared to those 30 years and older. However, what people become envious over differs across adulthood. 

Younger adults, under the age of 30, have been found to envy others social status, relationships, and attractiveness. This starts to fade when a person hits there 30's, typically, at this point in life the person begins to accept who they are as an individual and compare themselves to others less often. However, they still envy others, just over different aspects in life, such as, career or salary. Studies have shown a decrease in envy as a person ages, however, envious feelings over money was the only thing that consistently increased as a person got older.

As a person ages, they begin to accept their social status. Nonetheless, envious feelings will be present throughout a persons life. It is up to the individual on whether they will let these envious feelings motivate or destroy them.

Narcissists

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder are often envious of others or believe others are envious of them.

A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.

In philosophy

Aristotle (in Rhetoric) defined envy (φθόνος phthonos) "as the pain caused by the good fortune of others", while Kant defined it as "a reluctance to see our own well-being overshadowed by another's because the standard we use to see how well off we are is not the intrinsic worth of our own well-being but how it compares with that of others".

Religious views

In Buddhism

In Buddhism, the term irshya is commonly translated as either envy or jealousy. Irshya is defined as a state of mind in which one is highly agitated to obtain wealth and honor for oneself, but unable to bear the excellence of others.

The term mudita (sympathetic joy) is defined as taking joy in the good fortune of others. This virtue is considered the antidote to envy and the opposite of schadenfreude.

In Christianity

The Seven Deadly Sins - Envy, engraving by Jacques Callot. The snake and the dog are both symbols for envy.

 

Cain killing Abel, painting by Bartolomeo Manfredi, c. 1610, Kunsthistorisches Museum

 

Envy Arch in the nave with a gothic fresco from 1511 of a man with a dog-head, which symbolizes envy (Dalbyneder Church [da], Denmark)

 

Both in the Old and New Testament there are various descriptions of envy and events related to it, mostly with a dramatic outcome.

Envy is one of the Seven deadly sins in Roman Catholicism. In the Book of Genesis envy is said to be the motivation behind Cain murdering his brother, Abel, as Cain envied Abel because God favored Abel's sacrifice over Cain's. 

Envy was regarded by Paul of Tarsus to be a sin of the flesh. Envy is among the things that comes from the heart, defiling a person. The whole body is full of darkness when the eye, the lamp of body, is bad. He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished, said Solomon. Envy ruins the body's health, making bones rot and prohibiting the inheritance of the kingdom of God. Sometimes, as a punishment, people are left in their sins, falling prey to envy and other heavy sins.

Envy is credited as the basis of all toil and skills of people. For example, mankind will choose occupations to gain wealth, fame and pleasures to equal or exceed their neighbors. Envy is, therefore, a sin deeply ingrained in human nature. It comes into being when man lacks certain things, a circumstance that exists when God is not approached for provision or when the provision is used for one's own selfish passions and pleasures.

Envy may be caused by wealth (Isaac, envied the Philistines), by the brightness of wealth, power and beauty (Assyria kingdom envied of other kingdoms), by political and military rising (Saul eyed David from the moment he heard the women song of joy), fertility (Leah, envied of Rachel), social ascent (Joseph whom his brothers were jealous of), countless miracles and healings (the apostles envied of high priest and the Sadducees), popularity (Paul and Barnabas, envied of unfaithful Jewish from Antioch), the success of Christianization of many Thessalonians (Paul and Silas, envied of unfaithful Jews from Thessalonica), virtues and true power to heal, to make miracles and to teach people (Jesus envied of the chief priests).

In the NT, Jewish Christians are admonished to not look with evil eye at the last converts ("Gentiles" or Pagan Christians) to avoid therefore becoming the last ones, missing the kingdom of God. They should be happy for anyone saved, like Christ, who came to save the lost, as the shepherd seeking the lost sheep. Zacchaeus, the chief tax collector, was among the lost ones and he succeeded in bringing salvation to him and to his house.

Sometimes arisen out of sophistry, envy cannot coexist with true and spiritual wisdom, but with false, earthly, unspiritual, demonic wisdom.

Throwing away envy is a crucial condition in our path to salvation. Envy was seen by the Apostle Paul as a real danger even within the first Christian communities. Envy should remain a sin of the past, defeated by God's teaching, which, as in the tenth commandment, forbids us from coveting our neighbour's things, woman, and servants, and urges us to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, as Apostle Paul said, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Because brotherly, Christian love banishes definitively envy from our hearts.

In Hinduism

"One who does not envy but is a compassionate friend to all ... such a devotee is very dear to Me." - Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 12, Verse 15.

 

In Hinduism, envy is considered a disastrous emotion. Hinduism maintains that anything which causes the mind to lose balance with itself leads to misery. This concept is put forth in the epic Mahabharata, wherein Duryodhana launches the Kurukshetra war out of envy of the perceived prosperity of his cousins. He is known to have remarked:

Father! The prosperity of the Pandavas (cousins) is burning me deeply! I cannot eat, sleep or live in the knowledge that they are better off than me!

Thus, Hinduism teaches that envy can be overcome simply by recognizing that the man or woman who is the object of one's envy is merely enjoying the fruits of their past karmic actions and that one should not allow such devious emotions to take control of their mind, lest they suffer the same fate as the antagonists of the Mahabharata.

In Islam

In Islam, envy (Hassad حسد in Arabic) is an impurity of the heart and can destroy one's good deeds. One must be content with what God has willed and believe in the justice of the creator. A Muslim should not allow his envy to inflict harm upon the envied person.

Muhammad said,

Do not envy each other, do not hate each other, do not oppose each other, and do not cut relations, rather be servants of Allah as brothers. It is not permissible for a Muslim to disassociate from his brother for more than three days such that they meet and one ignores the other, and the best of them is the one who initiates the salaam. -- Sahih al-Bukhari [Eng. Trans. 8/58 no. 91], Sahih Muslim [Eng. Trans. 4/1360 no. 6205, 6210]

A Muslim may wish for himself a blessing like that which someone else has, without wanting it to be taken away from the other person. This is permissible and is not called hasad. Rather, it is called ghibtah.

"There is to be no envy except in two cases: (towards) a person to whom Allah has granted wisdom, and who rules by this and teaches it to the people, and (towards) a person to whom Allah has granted wealth and property along with the power to spend it in the cause of the Truth." [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]

In Judaism

In Judaism (in the Hebrew Bible 'jealousy', is a key feature of God's personality – He is furious in jealousy (for His own people's undivided worship). YeHoVaH is jealous for His own. The God of Israel is, "slow to anger and great in compassion" (Exodus 34:6) but when His jealousy and anger had accumulated there was an outburst of punishment. (Exodus 34:6; Numbers 14:18; Psalm 103:8; Ps 86:15; Ps 145:8; Jonah 4:2; Nahum 1:3; Nehemiah 9:17; Joel 2:13 etc.) While jealousy is branded as a negative and unwanted emotion generally in society today and also in Christianity, which had developed out of Judaism, in the Biblical (so-called Old Testament) context it is a strong aspect of God's character and therefor not a flawed characteristic – unlike envy, which God does denounce. (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:9 and verse18) We envy people when we want what they have. We are jealous when we want to keep for ourselves what belongs exclusively to us. Therefore we see the frightening permission God gave husbands who became jealous of their wives, to make them take a curse upon themselves, in case they had slept with another man while they belonged to their husband. (Numbers 5:11 – 31) This points to the intimacy and exclusivity He is interested in, from His own people. Ephraim 'committed harlotry' against YHVH and thereby defiled the nation of Israel. Therefore He withdrew Himself from them, to their detriment: "Woe to those when I depart from them!" (Hosea 9:12), He warns. "They will cry to YHVH, but he will hide His face from them". (Micah 3:4) A wounded Lover speaking. "You paid, but were not paid; for your harlotry. Therefore, oh harlot, hear the Word of YHVH: I shall set My jealousy against you and they will deal furiously with you." (Ezekiel 23:25) YHVH showed Ezekiel how the people in Jerusalem set up 'an image that provokes jealousy'. (Ezekiel 8:11, 12, 1 Kings 14:22, 2 Chronicles 14:2) God also loves like a jealous lover: He told Moses to make a breastplate for Aaron the priest, to wear when he goes into the Most Holy Place. On the breastplate he had to display the names of all the tribes of Israel, so He could see it whenever Aaron went in to work where YHVH's Presence was (Exodus 28:29). Somewhere else He says, I have your name engraved in the palm of My hand. (Isaiah 49:16) The God of Israel wants with His people a marriage of faithfulness, fairness, kindness and compassion – and that they should know Him. (Hosea 2:21,22) He is even jealous for the land itself, the land of Israel. (Joel 2:18) "I am jealous for Jerusalem and for Zion with a great jealousy.. YHVH will yet comfort Zion and will yet choose Jerusalem.. For I will be to her a wall of fire all around; and the glory in her midst." (Zechariah 1:14, 17, Zechariah 2:9) The Hebrew Bible says Judah provoked YHVH to jealousy with all their sins and their false gods. (1 Kings 14:22) There is a notable difference in meaning between jealousy (of something that is one's own) and envy (which is covetousness of another one's possessions). (Exodus 20: 14; Proverbs 27:4)

Cultural references

In English-speaking cultures, envy is often associated with the color green, as in "green with envy", and yellow. Yellow is the color of ambivalence and contradiction; a color associated with optimism and amusement; but also with betrayal, duplicity, and jealousy. The phrase "green-eyed monster" refers to an individual whose current actions appear motivated by jealousy not envy. This is based on a line from Shakespeare's Othello. Shakespeare mentions it also in The Merchant of Venice when Portia states: "How all the other passions fleet to air, as doubtful thoughts and rash embraced despair and shuddering fear and green-eyed jealousy!" 

The character Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist series is one of the seven homunculi named after the seven deadly sins. 

The character of Zelena on ABC's Once Upon a Time, takes on the title "The Wicked Witch of the West" after envy itself dyes her skin in the episode "It's Not Easy Being Green".

In the parable "Garden of Statues", a character goes mad with envy because of all the attention his sculptor neighbor is getting. 

In Nelson W. Aldrich Jr.'s Old Money, he states that people who suffer from a case of malicious envy are blind to what good things they already have, thinking they have nothing, causing them to feel emptiness and despair.

Contentment

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Peace and contentment
Eduard von Grützner (1897)

Contentment is a mental or emotional state of satisfaction maybe drawn from being at ease in one's situation, body and mind. Colloquially speaking, contentment could be a state of having accepted one's situation and is a milder and more tentative form of happiness.

Contentment and the pursuit of contentment are possibly a central thread through many philosophical or religious schools across diverse cultures, times and geographies. Siddharta might have said "Health is the most precious gain and contentment the greatest wealth". John Stuart Mill, centuries later, would write "I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them." Marcus Aurelius wrote "Live with the gods. And he who does so constantly shows them that his soul is satisfied with what is assigned to them." Hebrews 13:5 reads "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Chinese philosopher Zhuang Zhou once wrote in the 3rd century BCE (hypothetically) "A gentleman who profoundly penetrates all things and is in harmony with their transformations will be contented with whatever time may bring. He follows the course of nature in whatever situation he may be."

The literature seems to generally agree that contentment is maybe a state ideally reached through being happy with what a person has, as opposed to achieving one's larger ambitions, as Socrates described by probably saying "He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have." That said, there may be a number of elements of achievement that may make finding a state of personal contentment easier: a strong family unit, a strong local community, and satisfaction of life's basic needs as perhaps expressed in Maslow's hierarchy of needs. In general, the more needs in Maslow's hierarchy are achieved, the more easily one might achieve contentment.

General

Contentment is the capital which will never diminish.

— Ali ibn Abi Talib

Many religions have some form of eternal bliss or heaven as their apparent goal, often contrasted with eternal torment or dissatisfaction. The source of all dissatisfaction appears to stem from the ability to compare experiences and then infer that one's state is not ideal. 

In the Bible, there is an intriguing allegorical account that man's fall from his paradisal state was caused by man eating the forbidden fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Man's eyes were "opened" to know the distinction between good and evil (Genesis 3). In other words, when man becomes intellectually developed to distinguish between good and bad, he realizes that is a gap between what he considers good or ideal and what he is experiencing. The perception of this disparity is what creates psychological and physiological tension.

In the Tao Te Ching, this development of man from his primal state of consciousness called Tao is similarly expounded in this manner: "When the Tao is lost, there is goodness. When goodness is lost, there is morality ...". Morality as we know is the intellectual discernment between good and evil. There is therefore a belief that one can achieve contentment by living "in the moment," which represents a way to stop the judgmental process of discriminating between good and bad. However, attempting to live in the moment is difficult because a person's attention is not only distracted by sensory stimuli but also psychological processes that conspire to make them think subconsciously or consciously. This thinking process is always involved with memories; hence, the attempt to stay in the present is a ponderous one given that there is always this subconscious struggle to break away from memories, especially unhappy ones. For this reason, specializations in this pursuit to live in the moment are found in various religious and mystical schools, manifested in forms of meditation and prayer. 

A more practical way for most people would be to simply practice contentment as an attitude. Practicing gratitude is perhaps a way to understand what contentment as an attitude is about. Seen in this light, contentment is not an achievement but an attitude that one can adopt at any time.

The American philosopher Robert Bruce Raup wrote a book Complacency: The Foundation of Human Behavior (1925) in which he claimed that the human need for complacency (i.e. inner tranquility) was the hidden spring of human behavior. Raup made this the basis of his pedagogical theory, which he later used in his severe criticisms of the American education system of the 1930s. However, in the context of present-day society, perhaps the multidimensional leisure culture evinces in a very significant way the desire of man to return to his core state of contentment by letting go of his hectic outer activities.

Contentment and positive psychology

In many ways, contentment can be closely associated with the concept of happiness and satisfaction. In positive psychology, social scientists study what might contribute to living a good life, or what would lead to people having increased positive mood and overall satisfaction with their life.

Happiness, in positive psychology, is defined in a twofold manner, which in totality is referred to as subjective well-being. How much positive emotion (positive affect) as opposed to negative emotion (negative affect) does a person have, and how ones view one's life overall (global satisfaction) are the questions asked in positive psychology to determine happiness. Contentment may be more associated or closely related to a person's level of satisfaction with his/her life (global satisfaction), but the idea of contentment is certainly intertwined in the concept of what makes people happy. 

In the 2014 book Lucky Go Happy : Make Happiness Happen!, Paul van der Merwe uses a chart to illustrate how being content for long periods of time, can yield more happiness than being ecstatic during a short period.

Positive psychology finds it very important to study what contributes to people being happy and to people flourishing, and finds it just as important to focus on the constructive ways in which people function and adapt, as opposed to the general field of psychology which focuses more on what goes wrong or is pathological with human beings.

Variables that contribute to happiness in research

Satisficer vs. maximizer

These are two concepts that define the ways in which people make choices. A satisficer is a person who will make a decision once his/her criteria is met, and a maximizer, on the other hand, won't make a decision until every possible option is explored.

Genes

There is evidence suggesting that there is a relationship between contentment and genes.

Personality

Through factor analysis, personality can be narrowed down according to the five factor model, which holds that there are five aspects of heritable personality traits: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Research has shown that personality is 50% heritable, but not always. There are two aspects of personality which are related to happiness. There is a strong relationship between extraversion and happiness, in that the more extraverted a person is (or behaves) the more happy he/she will be. The other aspect of personality which has a strong relationship to happiness is the genetic predisposition to neuroticism. The more neurotic (emotionally unstable) a person is, the more likely he/she is to be unhappy.

Goal pursuits

Reaching goals that are important to oneself and that are in alignment with one's personality can contribute to feelings of confidence and mastery. It is important to establish goals that are neither too easy or too hard, but that are optimally challenging. It is also important to note that investing energy in avoiding goals will contribute to diminishing happiness as well as deter one from reaching one's goals, which can be quite intuitive to understand.

Money

Many people strongly associate money with happiness, and they believe that being rich will contribute greatly to making them happier, and the American society reflects this growing materialism. Although wealth is associated with some positive outcomes, i.e. lighter prison sentences for the same crime, better health, and lower infant mortality, and can act as a buffer in certain instances, as mentioned previously, the overall relationship between money and happiness is marginal.

However, beyond a low threshold where the basic needs are met, money has a very small impact on happiness. There is also the concept of the diminishing marginal utility of income (DMUI), which is that money has no effect on happiness once a certain income level has been reached, and which represents wealth and happiness as having a curvilinear relationship.

Indeed, when one has met his basic needs and have more to spare, it is time to spend or give some to experience happiness. This is because happiness is really a state of in-and-out flow of one's energy. Using or giving money is an expression of out-flowing of one's life-state. Attempt to just hoard more and more in the belief that it brings more happiness can lead to the opposite result if only because the means – that is the pursuit of money for happiness – has unwittingly become the ends.

Leisure (also Leisure satisfaction)

The concept of work-life balance is now well-accepted. At the same time, it must be noted that the 'life' aspect of this 'work-life' concept includes activities devoted to one's personal life which sometimes calls for the kind of commitment and effort no less than that demanded from one's work-life. 

In some societies, this 'life' aspect might include looking after the elderly and infirm, sending children to and from schools, preparing the meals, cleaning the house and doing the laundry. They are as much work as the work life, and in the midst of all these, the need for leisure activities is simply an alien concept. 

Leisure as a culture is not a universal societal value although the younger generation in developed or near-developed societies seems more inclined toward it. Overseas trips, lounging in a cafe with friends, attending concerts, relaxing in a spa, karaoke-ing and similar activities after office hours are now prevalent among that generation. In fact, over the last 15 years, the market has seen a tremendous surge in demand for such leisure services. In his book "In the Era of Human Capital", Richard Crawford charted the exponential growth of the Business & Leisure sector in the post-industrial society. This trend might look like an offshoot of a more affluent society; however, the need for leisure is intrinsic in humans and only through the demands of modern economic life – run as it were by the clock, timetables, deadlines and schedules – did this need fade into the background.

Humans' need for leisure is intrinsic because that is the state they were born with, or rather, that is the state of life in the natural world. Leisure implies that one is not pressured by others or oneself to deliver a certain result but that life is lived to enjoy the simple pleasures of exploring the world that one is born into. 

This happy state of life is that generally experienced by the pre-school child and is gradually lost when duties and responsibilities of school life and subsequently the adult work-life enter into the picture. 

Not all societies have embraced the leisure culture whether through certain public policies like having a universal welfare system, and psychological and financial preparedness on the part of individuals for retirement wherein leisure is the salient feature. This even applies to developed nations. For example, the US has a "retirement crisis" in which a large percentage of Americans do not have sufficient savings for retirement.

Economic productivity being often if not always equated with work, the culture of leisure is seldom recognized as a major contributor to a growing business sector. For this reason, many societies do not have in place an infrastructure that strongly supports the leisure culture – such as represented by a universal social welfare system, a wealth of products, services and amenities for retirees. Such societies even if they were to become more affluent may continue to find happiness elusive even for retirees. 

Leisure is intrinsically sought after by all as a way to release the tensions and stresses of work-life. It is often used to indulge in play – as is witnessed by how constantly obsessed nowadays people are with surfing the Internet, movies and games through their smartphones. There is no doubt that these are enjoyable activities.

But leisure also allows people – without the need of any modern gadgets – to re-connect with family and friends and experience the happiness arising from that interaction such as chatting over a drink or meal.

Health

Historically, major Eastern mystical teachings on human development, like those from India and China, do not make a separation between the spiritual and physical. Happiness or contentment was never viewed as an isolated state from physical health. Physical health-enhancing practices such as Hatha yoga and qigong – and their respective herbalism known as Ayurveda and TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) – were consonant with and fully integrated into those mystical teachings in the implicit belief that the attainment of the ideal state of consciousness requires a healthy body as a launchpad or basis even.

Personal development and health in these systems are understood more as a holistic development of the various aspects of the multidimensional human being.

The concept of body and mind interplay (including relationship factor) now known as psychosomatic medicine has always been present in these "mystical teachings", particularly in TCM. An unhappy, angry patient may be told by a TCM physician that there is a lot of trapped heat in their internal organs and then treated accordingly with herbs or acupuncture. At times, if the TCM physician is a qigong practitioner, they may even recommend some qigong exercises for the patient to practise.

However given that adepts in such complex holistic analysis and treatment are hard to come by, Eastern health maintenance practices may not necessarily be always adequate, reliable or even safe. Mainstream Western medicine and a good personal knowledge into the common health issues and how to treat them safely at home should also be included in the total package to ensure good health so that the human body can be fit vehicle for optimal and positive performance – the foundation of happiness.

Outer success and material possession are secondary when health is compromised. One cannot be happy or contented when the body is broken, although there are rare, exceptional individuals who are able to rise above their physical predicament. However, for the vast majority having a good knowledge and an effective protocol for personal health is critical to happiness not just to oneself but also to one's family and friends.

Laughter

Laughter is synonymous with happiness. A proposal is made here that when a line of thought (e.g. joke) or sensation (e.g. tickling) is not expected by one's psychological or physiological order respectively, it triggers a certain chaos and temporary breakdown of that order. The innate Contentment intrinsic to the person then breaks through this temporal breach to express itself in happy laughter. 

Laughter has been used as a health therapy for many years such as in some hospitals through the showing of TV comedies for patients. Laughter clubs have also been formed in India and some Asian countries to promote laughter as a form of health-enhancement through regular meet-ups.

Universal social welfare

Contentment has also been studied as a cultural or political phenomenon. The Nordic nations, which have repeatedly appeared near the top in Happiness Index surveys like World Happiness Report – and most likely correlated economic performance as well – contend that higher rates of happiness are rooted in their welfare system, the "Nordic model", which not only fulfills the healthcare, social and other essential needs of their people but also is proposed to provide a high sense of security.

Other research indicates a substantial portion of Scandinavians exaggerate their sense of happiness or contentment when asked informally or in surveys, due to social prohibitions against expressing negativity or unhappiness. The region's rates of alcohol abuse, among the highest in Europe, have also been cited as an indication that the positive social effects attributed to the Nordic model are exaggerated.

Judaism

Some of the earliest references to the state of contentment are found in the reference to the midah (personal attribute) of Samayach B'Chelko. The expression comes from the word samayach (root Sin-Mem-Chet) meaning "happiness, joy or contentment", and chelko (root Chet-Lamed-Kuf) meaning "portion, lot, or piece", and combined mean contentment with one's lot in life. The attribute is referred to in the Mishnahic source which says, "Ben Zoma said: Who is rich? Those who are happy with their portion."

The origins of contentment in Jewish culture reflect an even older thinking reflected in the Book of Proverbs which says: "A joyful heart makes a cheerful face; A sad heart makes a despondent mood. All the days of a poor person are wretched, but contentment is a feast without end."

The issue of contentment remained in Jewish thinking during the Middle Ages as evident for example in the writings of Solomon Ibn Gabirol, an eleventh-century Spanish poet-philosopher who taught:

Who seeks more than he needs, hinders himself from enjoying what he has. Seek what you need and give up what you need not. For in giving up what you don't need, you'll learn what you really do need.

Islam

In Islam, true contentment is achieved through establishing a relationship with Allah, always keeping Him in mind. The Quran states:

“	Truly, it is in the remembrance of Allah(God) that hearts can find contentment.	”
— Quran - 13:29

This verse reveals that the more the people gain the trivial goods of this life, the greater becomes the hunger and the consequent burning of their hearts. Moreover, there is no end for worldly desires and greed. But as for those who seek God, the more they turn to Him, the greater is their peace of mind. This means that a search for the divine or a supreme Deity is inherent within human nature and the innermost yearning of a human being. The real and ultimate goal of a person's life.

In a well known Hadith (saying of the prophet Muhammad) the prophet said:

“	If the son of Adam (the human being) were given a valley full of riches, he would love to have a second one; and if he were given the second one, he would love to have a third, for nothing satisfies the belly of Adam's son except dust (of the grave). And Allah forgives he who repents (turns) to Him.	”
— Saheeh Bukhari-Vol 8:book76

Eastern religions

In Yoga (Yoga Sutras of Patanjali), movement or positions, breathing practices, and concentration, as well as the yamas and niyamas, can contribute to a physical state of contentment (santosha).

In a Buddhist sense, it is the freedom from anxiety, want, or need. Contentment is the goal behind all goals because once achieved there is nothing to seek until it is lost. A living system cannot maintain contentment for very long as complete balance and harmony of forces means death. Living systems are a complex dance of forces which find a stability far from balance. Any attainment of balance is quickly met by rising pain which ends the momentary experience of satisfaction or contentment achieved. Buddha's task was to find the solution to this never-ending descent into dissatisfaction or Dukkha. The Buddhist faith is based on the belief that he succeeded.

Sikhism

Contentment (or Sabar or Santokh) is important an aspect in Sikh life and is known as attainment of First Treasure. Sikhism categorizes Contentment into two forms: Contentment (Santokh) and True Contentment (Satt Santokh/Sabar). Contentment can be broken, turning souls greedy for the temporal world, but True Contentment is never broken and such a soul is eligible for the Supreme State. The soul having contentment is called Saabari or Santokhi.