Self-esteem is an individual's subjective evaluation of their
own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example,
"I am unloved", "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as
triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) defined it by saying "The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it."
Self-esteem is an attractive psychological construct because it predicts certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships, and criminal behavior. Self-esteem can apply to a specific attribute (for example, "I believe I am a good writer and I feel happy about that") or globally (for example, "I believe I am a bad person, and I feel bad about myself in general"). Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic (trait self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations (state self-esteem) also exist. Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include many things: self-worth, self-regard, self-respect, and self-integrity.
Self-esteem is an attractive psychological construct because it predicts certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships, and criminal behavior. Self-esteem can apply to a specific attribute (for example, "I believe I am a good writer and I feel happy about that") or globally (for example, "I believe I am a bad person, and I feel bad about myself in general"). Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic (trait self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations (state self-esteem) also exist. Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include many things: self-worth, self-regard, self-respect, and self-integrity.
History
The concept of self-esteem has its origins in the 18th century, first expressed in the writings of David Hume,
the Scottish enlightenment thinker, shows the idea that it is important
to value and think well of yourself because it serves as a motivational
function that enables people to explore their full potential.
The identification of self-esteem as a distinct psychological
construct has its origins in the work of philosopher and psychologist,
geologist, anthropologist William James (1892).
James identified multiple dimensions of the self, with two levels of
hierarchy: processes of knowing (called the 'I-self') and the resulting
knowledge about the self (the 'Me-self'). The observation about the self
and storage of those observations by the I-self creates three types of
knowledge, which collectively account for the Me-self, according to
James. These are the material self, social self, and spiritual self. The
social self comes closest to self-esteem, comprising all
characteristics recognized by others. The material self consists of
representations of the body and possessions and the spiritual self of
descriptive representations and evaluative dispositions regarding the
self. This view of self-esteem as the collection of an individual's
attitudes toward oneself remains today.
In the mid-1960s, social psychologist Morris Rosenberg defined self-esteem as a feeling of self-worth and developed the Rosenberg self-esteem scale (RSES), which became the most-widely used scale to measure self-esteem in the social sciences.
In the early 20th century, the behaviorist movement
minimized introspective study of mental processes, emotions, and
feelings, replacing introspection with objective study through
experiments on behaviors observed in relation with the environment. Behaviorism
viewed the human being as an animal subject to reinforcements, and
suggested placing psychology as an experimental science, similar to
chemistry or biology. As a consequence, clinical trials on self-esteem
were overlooked, since behaviorists considered the idea less liable to
rigorous measurement.
In the mid-20th century, the rise of phenomenology and humanistic psychology led to renewed interest in self-esteem. Self-esteem then took a central role in personal self-actualization and in the treatment of psychic disorders. Psychologists started to consider the relationship between psychotherapy
and the personal satisfaction of persons with high self-esteem as
useful to the field. This led to new elements being introduced to the
concept of self-esteem, including the reasons why people tend to feel
less worthy and why people become discouraged or unable to meet
challenges by themselves.
In 1992 the political scientist Francis Fukuyama associated self-esteem with what Plato called thymos - the "spiritedness" part of the Platonic soul.
As of 1997 the core self-evaluations approach included self-esteem as one of four dimensions that comprise one's fundamental appraisal of oneself - along with locus of control, neuroticism, and self-efficacy. The concept of core self-evaluations as first examined by Judge, Locke, and Durham (1997), has since proven to have the ability to predict job satisfaction and job performance. Self-esteem may be essential to self-evaluation.
Self-esteem in public policy
The
importance of self-esteem gained endorsement from some government and
non-government groups starting around the 1970s, such that one can speak
of a self-esteem movement. This movement can be used as an example of promising evidence that psychological research can have an effect on forming public policy.
The underlying idea of the movement was that low self-esteem was the
root of the problem for individuals, making it the root of societal
problems and dysfunctions. A leading figure of the movement,
psychologist Nathaniel Branden,
stated: "[I] cannot think of a single psychological problem – from
anxiety and depression, to fear of intimacy or of success, to spouse
battery or child molestation – that is not traced back to the problem of
low self-esteem".
Self-esteem was believed to be a cultural phenomenon of Western individualistic societies since low self-esteem was not found in collectivist countries such as Japan.
Concern about low self-esteem and its many presumed negative consequences led California assemblyman John Vasconcellos
to work to set up and fund the Task Force on Self-Esteem and Personal
and Social Responsibility in California in 1986. Vasconcellos argued
that this task force could combat many of the state's problems - from
crime and teen pregnancy to school underachievement and pollution.
He compared increasing self-esteem to giving out a vaccine for a
disease: it could help protect people from being overwhelmed by life's challenges.
The task force set up committees in many California counties and
formed a committee of scholars to review the available literature on
self-esteem. This committee found very small associations between low
self-esteem and its assumed consequences, ultimately showing that low
self-esteem is not the root of all societal problems and not as
important as the committee had originally thought. However, the authors
of the paper that summarized the review of the literature still believe
that self-esteem is an independent variable that affects major social
problems. The task force disbanded in 1995, and the National Council for
Self-Esteem and later the National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE) was established, taking on the task force's mission. Vasconcellos and Jack Canfield were members of its advisory board in 2003, and members of its Masters' Coalition included Anthony Robbins, Bernie Siegel, and Gloria Steinem.
Theories
Many early theories suggested that self-esteem is a basic human need or motivation. American psychologist Abraham Maslow included self-esteem in his hierarchy of human needs.
He described two different forms of "esteem": the need for respect from
others in the form of recognition, success, and admiration, and the
need for self-respect in the form of self-love, self-confidence, skill,
or aptitude.
Respect from others was believed to be more fragile and easily lost
than inner self-esteem. According to Maslow, without the fulfillment of
the self-esteem need, individuals will be driven to seek it and unable
to grow and obtain self-actualization. Maslow also states that the
healthiest expression of self-esteem "is the one which manifests in the
respect we deserve for others, more than renown, fame, and flattery".
Modern theories of self-esteem explore the reasons humans are motivated
to maintain a high regard for themselves. Sociometer theory maintains that self-esteem evolved to check one's level of status and acceptance in ones' social group. According to Terror Management Theory, self-esteem serves a protective function and reduces anxiety about life and death.
Self-esteem is important because it shows us how we view the way
we are and the sense of our personal value. Thus, it affects the way we
are and acts in the world and the way we are related to everybody else.
Carl Rogers (1902-1987), an advocate of humanistic psychology,
theorized the origin of many people's problems to be that they despise
themselves and consider themselves worthless and incapable of being
loved. This is why Rogers believed in the importance of giving
unconditional acceptance to a client and when this was done it could
improve the client's self-esteem. In his therapy sessions with clients, he offered positive regard no matter what.
Indeed, the concept of self-esteem is approached since then in
humanistic psychology as an inalienable right for every person,
summarized in the following sentence:
“ | Every human being, with no exception, for the mere fact to be it, is worthy of unconditional respect of everybody else; he deserves to esteem himself and to be esteemed. | ” |
Measurement
Self-esteem is typically assessed using self-report inventories.
One of the most widely used instruments, the Rosenberg self-esteem scale
(RSES) is a 10-item self-esteem scale score that requires participants
to indicate their level of agreement with a series of statements about
themselves. An alternative measure, The Coopersmith Inventory uses a
50-question battery over a variety of topics and asks subjects whether
they rate someone as similar or dissimilar to themselves.
If a subject's answers demonstrate solid self-regard, the scale regards
them as well adjusted. If those answers reveal some inner shame, it
considers them to be prone to social deviance.
Implicit measures of self-esteem began to be used in the 1980s. These rely on indirect measures of cognitive processing thought to be linked to implicit self-esteem, including the Name Letter Task.
Such indirect measures are designed to reduce awareness of the process
of assessment. When used to assess implicit self-esteem, psychologists
feature self-relevant stimuli to the participant and then measure how
quickly a person identifies positive or negative stimuli.
For example, if a woman was given the self-relevant stimuli of female
and mother, psychologists would measure how quickly she identified the
negative word, evil, or the positive word, kind.
Development across lifespan
Experiences in a person's life are a major source of how self-esteem develops.
In the early years of a child's life, parents have a significant
influence on self-esteem and can be considered the main source of
positive and negative experiences a child will have.
Unconditional love from parents helps a child develop a stable sense of
being cared for and respected. These feelings translate into later
effects on self-esteem as the child grows older.
Students in elementary school who have high self-esteem tend to have
authoritative parents who are caring, supportive adults who set clear
standards for their child and allow them to voice their opinion in
decision making.
Although studies thus far have reported only a correlation of warm, supportive parenting styles
(mainly authoritative and permissive) with children having high
self-esteem, these parenting styles could easily be thought of as having
some causal effect in self-esteem development.
Childhood experiences that contribute to healthy self-esteem include
being listened to, being spoken to respectfully, receiving appropriate
attention and affection and having accomplishments recognized and
mistakes or failures acknowledged and accepted. Experiences that
contribute to low self-esteem include being harshly criticized, being
physically, sexually or emotionally abused, being ignored, ridiculed or
teased or being expected to be "perfect" all the time.
During school-aged years, academic achievement is a significant contributor to self-esteem development. Consistently achieving success or consistently failing will have a strong effect on students' individual self-esteem.
Social experiences are another important contributor to self-esteem. As
children go through school, they begin to understand and recognize
differences between themselves and their classmates. Using social
comparisons, children assess whether they did better or worse than
classmates in different activities. These comparisons play an important
role in shaping the child's self-esteem and influence the positive or
negative feelings they have about themselves.
As children go through adolescence, peer influence becomes much more
important. Adolescents make appraisals of themselves based on their
relationships with close friends.
Successful relationships among friends are very important to the
development of high self-esteem for children. Social acceptance brings
about confidence and produces high self-esteem, whereas rejection from
peers and loneliness brings about self-doubts and produces low
self-esteem.
Adolescence shows an increase in self-esteem that continues to increase in young adulthood and middle age. A decrease is seen from middle age to old age with varying findings on whether it is a small or large decrease. Reasons for the variability could be because of differences in health, cognitive ability, and socioeconomic status in old age. No differences have been found between males and females in their development of self-esteem.
Multiple cohort studies show that there is not a difference in the
life-span trajectory of self-esteem between generations due to societal
changes such as grade inflation in education or the presence of social media.
High levels of mastery, low risk taking, and better health are
ways to predict higher self-esteem. In terms of personality, emotionally
stable, extroverted, and conscientious individuals experience higher
self-esteem.
These predictors have shown us that self-esteem has trait-like
qualities by remaining stable over time like personality and
intelligence. However, this does not mean it can not be changed.
Hispanic adolescents have a slightly lower self-esteem than their black
and white peers, but then slightly higher levels by age 30.
African Americans have a sharper increase in self-esteem in adolescence
and young adulthood compared to Whites. However, during old age, they
experience a more rapid decline in self-esteem.
Shame
Shame can be a contributor to those with problems of low self-esteem.
Feelings of shame usually occur because of a situation where the social
self is devalued, such as a socially evaluated poor performance. A poor
performance leads to higher responses of psychological states that
indicate a threat to the social self namely a decrease in social
self-esteem and an increase in shame. This increase in shame can be helped with self-compassion.
Real self, ideal self, and dreaded self
There
are three levels of self-evaluation development in relation to the real
self, ideal self, and the dreaded self. The real, ideal, and dreaded
selves develop in children in a sequential pattern on cognitive levels.
- Moral judgment stages: Individuals describe their real, ideal, and dreaded selves with stereotypical labels, such as "nice" or "bad". Individuals describe their ideal and real selves in terms of disposition for actions or as behavioral habits. The dreaded self is often described as being unsuccessful or as having bad habits.
- Ego development stages: Individuals describe their ideal and real selves in terms of traits that are based on attitudes as well as actions. The dreaded self is often described as having failed to meet social expectations or as self-centered.
- Self-understanding stages: Individuals describe their ideal and real selves as having unified identities or characters. Descriptions of the dreaded self focus on a failure to live up to one's ideals or role expectations often because of real world problems.
This development brings with it increasingly complicated and
encompassing moral demands. This level is where individuals'
self-esteems can suffer because they do not feel as though they are
living up to certain expectations. This feeling will moderately affect
one's self-esteem with an even larger effect seen when individuals
believe they are becoming their dreaded selves.
Types
High
People with a healthy level of self-esteem:
- Firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them even when finding opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light of experience.
- Are able to act according to what they think to be the best choice, trusting their own judgment, and not feeling guilty when others do not like their choice.
- Do not lose time worrying excessively about what happened in the past, nor about what could happen in the future. They learn from the past and plan for the future, but live in the present intensely.
- Fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, not hesitating after failures and difficulties. They ask others for help when they need it.
- Consider themselves equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or superior, while accepting differences in certain talents, personal prestige or financial standing.
- Understand how they are an interesting and valuable person for others, at least for those with whom they have a friendship.
- Resist manipulation, collaborate with others only if it seems appropriate and convenient.
- Admit and accept different internal feelings and drives, either positive or negative, revealing those drives to others only when they choose.
- Are able to enjoy a great variety of activities.
- Are sensitive to feelings and needs of others; respect generally accepted social rules, and claim no right or desire to prosper at others' expense.
- Can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others when challenges arise.
Secure vs. defensive
A
person can have high self-esteem and hold it confidently where they do
not need reassurance from others to maintain their positive self-view,
whereas others with defensive high self-esteem may still report positive
self-evaluations on the Rosenberg Scale, as all high self-esteem
individuals do; however, their positive self-views are fragile and
vulnerable to criticism. Defensive high self-esteem individuals
internalize subconscious self-doubts and insecurities, causing them to
react very negatively to any criticism they may receive. There is a need
for constant positive feedback from others for these individuals to
maintain their feelings of self-worth. The necessity of repeated praise
can be associated with boastful, arrogant behavior or sometimes even
aggressive and hostile feelings toward anyone who questions the
individual's self-worth, an example of threatened egotism.
The Journal of Educational Psychology conducted a study in which they used a sample of 383 Malaysian undergraduates participating in Work integrated learning
(WIL) programs across five public universities to test the relationship
between self-esteem and other psychological attributes such as self-efficacy and self-confidence.
The results demonstrated that self-esteem has a positive and
significant relationship with self-confidence and self-efficacy since
students with higher self-esteem had better performances at university
than those with lower self-esteem. It was concluded that higher
education institutions and employers should emphasize the importance of
undergraduates' self-esteem development.
Implicit, explicit, narcissism and threatened egotism
Implicit self-esteem
refers to a person's disposition to evaluate themselves positively or
negatively in a spontaneous, automatic, or unconscious manner. It
contrasts with explicit self-esteem,
which entails more conscious and reflective self-evaluation. Both
explicit self-esteem and implicit self-esteem are subtypes of
self-esteem proper.
Narcissism
is a disposition people may have that represents an excessive love for
one's self. It is characterized by an inflated view of self-worth.
Individuals who score high on narcissism measures, Robert Raskin's 40 Item True or False Test, would likely select true to such statements as "If I ruled the world, it would be a much better place." There is only a moderate correlation between narcissism and self-esteem;
that is to say that an individual can have high self-esteem but low
narcissism or can be a conceited, obnoxious person and score high
self-esteem and high narcissism.
Threatened egotism
is characterized as a response to criticism that threatens the ego of
narcissists; they often react in a hostile and aggressive manner.
Low
Low self-esteem
can result from various factors, including genetic factors, physical
appearance or weight, mental health issues, socioeconomic status,
significant emotional experiences, peer pressure or bullying.
A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following characteristics:
- Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction.
- Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and feelings of being attacked.
- Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes.
- Excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease any petitioner.
- Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.
- Neurotic guilt, dwelling on or exaggerating the magnitude of past mistakes.
- Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any proximate cause.
- Pessimism and a general negative outlook.
- Envy, invidiousness, or general resentment.
- Sees temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.
Individuals with low self-esteem tend to be critical of themselves.
Some depend on the approval and praise of others when evaluating
self-worth. Others may measure their likability in terms of successes:
others will accept themselves if they succeed but will not if they fail.
The three states
This classification proposed by Martin Ross distinguishes three states of self-esteem compared to the "feats" (triumphs, honors, virtues) and the "anti-feats" (defeats, embarrassment, shame, etc.) of the individuals.
Shattered
The
individual does not regard themselves as valuable or lovable. They may
be overwhelmed by defeat, or shame, or see themselves as such, and they
name their "anti-feat". For example, if they consider that being over a
certain age is an anti-feat, they define themselves with the name of
their anti-feat, and say, "I am old". They express actions and feelings
such as pity, insulting themselves, and they may become paralyzed by
their sadness.
Vulnerable
The
individual has a generally positive self-image. However, their
self-esteem is also vulnerable to the perceived risk of an imminent
anti-feat (such as defeat, embarrassment, shame, discredit),
consequently, they are often nervous and regularly use defense
mechanisms.
A typical protection mechanism of those with vulnerable self-esteem may
consist in avoiding decision-making. Although such individuals may
outwardly exhibit great self-confidence,
the underlying reality may be just the opposite: the apparent
self-confidence is indicative of their heightened fear of anti-feats and
the fragility of their self-esteem.
They may also try to blame others to protect their self-image from
situations that would threaten it. They may employ defense mechanisms,
including attempting to lose at games and other competitions in order to
protect their self-image by publicly dissociating themselves from a
need to win, and asserting an independence from social acceptance which
they may deeply desire. In this deep fear of being unaccepted by an
individual's peers, they make poor life choices by making risky
decisions.
Strong
People with strong self-esteem have a positive self-image
and enough strength so that anti-feats do not subdue their self-esteem.
They have less fear of failure. These individuals appear humble,
cheerful, and this shows a certain strength not to boast about feats and
not to be afraid of anti-feats.
They are capable of fighting with all their might to achieve their goals
because, if things go wrong, their self-esteem will not be affected.
They can acknowledge their own mistakes precisely because their
self-image is strong, and this acknowledgment will not impair or affect
their self-image. They live with less fear of losing social prestige, and with more happiness and general well-being. However, no type of self-esteem is indestructible, and due to certain situations or circumstances in life, one can fall from this level into any other state of self-esteem.
Contingent vs. non-contingent
A distinction is made between contingent (or conditional) and non-contingent (or unconditional) self-esteem.
Contingent self-esteem is derived from external sources, such as what others say, one's success or failure, one's competence, or relationship-contingent self-esteem.
Therefore, contingent self-esteem is marked by instability,
unreliability, and vulnerability. Persons lacking a non-contingent
self-esteem are "predisposed to an incessant pursuit of self-value".
However, because the pursuit of contingent self-esteem is based on
receiving approval, it is doomed to fail. No one receives constant
approval and disapproval often evokes depression. Furthermore, fear of
disapproval inhibits activities in which failure is possible.
"The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable. . . . This is the Pauline-Lutheran doctrine of 'justification by faith.'" Paul Tillich
Non-contingent self-esteem is described as true, stable, and solid. It springs from a belief that one is "acceptable period, acceptable before life itself, ontologically acceptable". Belief that one is "ontologically acceptable" is to believe that one's acceptability is "the way things are without contingency". In this belief, as expounded by theologian Paul Tillich,
acceptability is not based on a person's virtue. It is an acceptance
given "in spite of our guilt, not because we have no guilt".
Psychiatrist Thomas A Harris drew on Tillich for his classic I'm OK – You're OK that addresses non-contingent self-esteem. Harris translated Tillich's "acceptable" by the vernacular OK, a term that means "acceptable". The Christian message, said Harris, is not "YOU CAN BE OK, IF", It is "YOU ARE ACCEPTED, unconditionally".
A secure non-contingent self-esteem springs from the belief that one is ontologically acceptable and accepted.
Importance
Abraham Maslow
states that psychological health is not possible unless the essential
core of the person is fundamentally accepted, loved and respected by
others and by her or himself. Self-esteem allows people to face life
with more confidence, benevolence, and optimism, and thus easily reach
their goals and self-actualize.
Self-esteem may make people convinced they deserve happiness.
Understanding this is fundamental, and universally beneficial, since
the development of positive self-esteem increases the capacity to treat
other people with respect, benevolence and goodwill, thus favoring rich
interpersonal relationships and avoiding destructive ones. For Erich Fromm,
the love of others and love of ourselves are not alternatives. On the
contrary, an attitude of love toward themselves will be found in all
those who are capable of loving others. Self-esteem allows creativity at
the workplace and is a specially critical condition for teaching
professions.
José-Vicente Bonet claims that the importance of self-esteem is
obvious as a lack of self-esteem is, he says, not a loss of esteem from
others, but self-rejection. Bonet claims that this corresponds to major depressive disorder. Freud
also claimed that the depressive has suffered "an extraordinary
diminution in his self-regard, an impoverishment of his ego on a grand
scale....He has lost his self-respect".
The Yogyakarta Principles, a document on international human rights law, addresses the discriminatory attitude toward LGBT people that makes their self-esteem low to be subject to human rights violation including human trafficking. The World Health Organization recommends in "Preventing Suicide",
published in 2000, that strengthening students' self-esteem is
important to protect children and adolescents against mental distress
and despondency, enabling them to cope adequately with difficult and
stressful life situations.
Other than increased happiness, higher self-esteem is also known
to correlate with a better ability to cope with stress and a higher
likeliness of taking on difficult tasks relative to those with low
self-esteem.
Correlations
From
the late 1970s to the early 1990s many Americans assumed as a matter of
course that students' self-esteem acted as a critical factor in the
grades that they earned in school, in their relationships
with their peers, and in their later success in life. Under this
assumption, some American groups created programs which aimed to
increase the self-esteem of students. Until the 1990s, little
peer-reviewed and controlled research took place on this topic.
Peer-reviewed research undertaken since then has not validated
previous assumptions. Recent research indicates that inflating students'
self-esteems in and of itself has no positive effect on grades. Roy Baumeister has shown that inflating self-esteem by itself can actually decrease grades.
The relationship involving self-esteem and academic results does not
signify that high self-esteem contributes to high academic results. It
simply means that high self-esteem may be accomplished as a result of
high academic performance due to the other variables of social
interactions and life events affecting this performance.
"Attempts by pro-esteem advocates to encourage self-pride in students solely by reason of their uniqueness as human beings will fail if feelings of well-being are not accompanied by well-doing. It is only when students engage in personally meaningful endeavors for which they can be justifiably proud that self-confidence grows, and it is this growing self-assurance that in turn triggers further achievement."
High self-esteem has a high correlation to self-reported happiness;
whether this is a causal relationship has not been established. The relationship between self-esteem and life satisfaction is stronger in individualistic cultures.
Additionally, self-esteem has been found to be related to
forgiveness in close relationships, in that people with high self-esteem
will be more forgiving than people with low self-esteem.
High self-esteem does not prevent children from smoking, drinking, taking drugs, or engaging in early sex. One exception is that high self-esteem reduces the chances of bulimia in females.
Neuroscience
In
research conducted in 2014 by Robert S. Chavez and Todd F. Heatherton,
it was found that self-esteem is related to the connectivity of the frontostriatal circuit. The frontostriatal pathway connects the medial prefrontal cortex, which deals with self-knowledge, to the ventral striatum, which deals with feelings of motivation and reward.
Stronger anatomical pathways are correlated with higher long-term
self-esteem, while stronger functional connectivity is correlated with
higher short-term self-esteem.
Criticism and controversy
The American psychologist Albert Ellis criticized on numerous occasions the concept of self-esteem as essentially self-defeating and ultimately destructive.
Although acknowledging the human propensity and tendency to ego rating
as innate, he has critiqued the philosophy of self-esteem as
unrealistic, illogical and self- and socially destructive – often doing
more harm than good. Questioning the foundations and usefulness of
generalized ego strength, he has claimed that self-esteem is based on
arbitrary definitional premises, and over-generalized, perfectionistic and grandiose thinking.
Acknowledging that rating and valuing behaviors and characteristics is
functional and even necessary, he sees rating and valuing human beings'
totality and total selves as irrational and unethical. The healthier
alternative to self-esteem according to him is unconditional self-acceptance and unconditional other-acceptance. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is a psychotherapy based on this approach.
- "There seem to be only two clearly demonstrated benefits of high self-esteem....First, it increases initiative, probably because it lends confidence. People with high self-esteem are more willing to act on their beliefs, to stand up for what they believe in, to approach others, to risk new undertakings. (This unfortunately includes being extra willing to do stupid or destructive things, even when everyone else advises against them.)...It can also lead people to ignore sensible advice as they stubbornly keep wasting time and money on hopeless causes"
False attempts
For
persons with low self-esteem, any positive stimulus will temporarily
raise self-esteem. Therefore, possessions, sex, success, or physical
appearance will produce the development of self-esteem, but the
development is ephemeral at best.
Such attempts to raise one's self-esteem by positive stimulus
produce a "boom or bust" pattern. "Compliments and positive feedback"
produce a boost, but a bust follows a lack of such feedback. For a
person whose "self-esteem is contingent", success is "not extra sweet",
but "failure is extra bitter".
As narcissism
Life satisfaction, happiness, healthy behavioral practices, perceived efficacy,
and academic success and adjustment have been associated with having
high levels of self-esteem (Harter, 1987; Huebner, 1991;
Lipschitz-Elhawi & Itzhaky, 2005; Rumberger 1995; Swenson &
Prelow, 2005; Yarcheski & Mahon, 1989). However, a common mistake is to think that loving oneself is necessarily equivalent to narcissism, as opposed for example to what Erik Erikson speaks of as "a post-narcissistic love of the ego".
A person with a healthy self-esteem accepts and loves himself/herself
unconditionally, acknowledging both virtues and faults in the self, and
yet, in spite of everything, is able to continue to love her/himself.
In narcissists, by contrast, an " uncertainty about their own
worth gives rise to...a self-protective, but often totally spurious,
aura of grandiosity" –
producing the class "of narcissists, or people with very high, but
insecure, self-esteem... fluctuating with each new episode of social
praise or rejection."
Narcissism can thus be seen as a symptom of fundamentally low
self-esteem, that is, lack of love towards oneself, but often
accompanied by "an immense increase in self-esteem" based on "the defense mechanism of denial by overcompensation."
"Idealized love of self...rejected the part of him" that he denigrates – "this destructive little child"
within. Instead, the narcissist emphasizes their virtues in the
presence of others, just to try to convince themself that they are a
valuable person and to try to stop feeling ashamed for their faults;
such "people with unrealistically inflated self-views, which may be
especially unstable and highly vulnerable to negative
information,...tend to have poor social skills."