Human bonding is the process of development of a close, interpersonal relationship between two or more people. It most commonly takes place between family members or friends, but can also develop among groups, such as sporting teams and whenever people spend time together. Bonding is a mutual, interactive process, and is different from simple liking. It is the process of nurturing social connection.
Bonding typically refers to the process of attachment that develops between romantic or platonic partners, close friends, or parents and children. This bond is characterized by emotions such as affection and trust. Any two people who spend time together may form a bond. Male bonding refers to the establishment of relationships between men through shared activities. The term female bonding refers to the formation of close personal relationships between women. Cross-sex friendships refers to personal relationships between men and women.
Early views
In the 4th century BC, the Greek philosopher Plato argued that love directs the bonds of human society. In his Symposium,
Eryximachus, one of the narrators in the dialog, states that love goes
far beyond simple attraction to human beauty. He states that it occurs
throughout the animal and plant kingdoms, as well as throughout the universe. Love directs everything that occurs, in the realm of the gods as well as that of humans (186a–b).
Eryximachus reasons that when various opposing elements such as
wet and dry are "animated by the proper species of Love, they are in
harmony with one another ... But when the sort of Love that is crude and
impulsive controls the seasons, he brings death and destruction"
(188a). Because it is love that guides the relations between these sets
of opposites throughout existence, in every case it is the higher form
of love that brings harmony and cleaves toward the good, whereas the
impulsive vulgar love creates disharmony.
Plato concludes that the highest form of love is the greatest.
When love "is directed, in temperance and justice, towards the good,
whether in heaven or on earth: happiness and good fortune, the bonds of
human society, concord with the gods above—all these are among his
gifts" (188d).
In the 1660s, the Dutch philosopher Spinoza wrote, in his Ethics of Human Bondage or the Strength of the Emotions, that the term bondage
relates to the human infirmity in moderating and checking the emotions.
That is, according to Spinoza, "when a man is prey to his emotions, he
is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune."
In 1809 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in his classic novella Elective Affinities,
wrote of the "marriage tie," and by analogy shows how strong marriage
unions are similar in character to that by which the particles of quicksilver find a unity together through the process of chemical affinity. Humans in passionate relationships, according to Goethe, are analogous to reactive substances in a chemical equation.
Pair bonding
The term pair bond originated in 1940 in reference to mated pairs of birds; referring to a monogamous
or relatively monogamous relationship. Whilst some form of monogamy may
characterize around 90% of bird species, in mammals long-term pairing
(beyond the brief duration of copulation itself) is rare, at around 3%. The incidence of monogamy in primate species is similarly low in contrast with polygyny (one male mating with two or more females), the most common pattern.
However, regardless of mating patterns, primate life is typically
characterized by long-lasting social relationships (whether sexual,
care-giving, coalitionary or otherwise) formed in the context of living
in durable social groups,
and any such durable relationship (whether exclusive or not) is
characterized by some degree of bonding. Similarly, whilst the
'naturalness' of monogamy in humans is debated,
durable monogamous or polygamous relationships will typically be
accompanied by affectional or emotional bonding (see next section).
Limerent bond
According to limerence theory, posited in 1979 by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, a certain percentage of couples may go through what is called a limerent reaction,
in which one or both of the pair may experience a state of passion
mixed with continuous intrusive thinking, fear of rejection, and hope.
Hence, with all human romantic relationships, one of three varieties of bonds may form, defined over a set duration of time, in relation to the experience or non-experience of limerence:
- Affectional bond: define relationships in which neither partner is limerent.
- Limerent–Nonlimerent bond: define relationships in which one partner is limerent.
- Limerent–Limerent bond: define relationships in which both partners are limerent.
The constitution of these bonds may vary over the course of the
relationship, in ways that may either increase or decrease the intensity
of the limerence.
A characteristic of this delineation made by Tennov, is that based on
her research and interviews with over 500 people, all human bonded
relationships can be divided into three varieties being defined by the
amount of limerence or non-limerence each partner contributes to the
relationship.
Parental bonding
Attachment
Parental bonds often help children form their identity
In 1958, British developmental psychologist John Bowlby published the paper "the Nature of the Child's Tie to his Mother," in which the precursory concepts of "attachment theory" were developed. This included the development of the concept of the affectional bond, sometimes referred to as the emotional bond,
which is based on the universal tendency for humans to attach, i.e. to
seek closeness to another person and to feel secure when that person is
present. Attachment theory has some of its origins in the observation of
and experiments with animals, but is also based on observations of
children who had missed typical experiences of adult care. Much of the
early research on attachment in humans was done by John Bowlby and his
associates. Bowlby proposed that babies have an inbuilt need from birth
to make emotional attachments, i.e. bonds, because this increases the
chances of survival by ensuring that they receive the care they need.
Bowlby did not describe mutuality in attachment. He stated that
attachment by mother was a pathological inversion and described only
behaviors of the infant. Many developmental specialists elaborated
Bowlby's ethological observations. However, neither Bowlby's proximity
seeking (not possible for human infants prior to walking) nor subsequent
descriptions of caregiver–infant mutuality with emotional availability
and synchrony with emotional modulation include the enduring motivation
of attachment into adult life. The enduring motivation is the desire to
control a pleasantly surprising transformation that is the route of
belief in effectiveness by humans.[citation needed] This motivation
accounts for curiosity and intellectual growth of language, mathematics
and logic, all of which have an emotional base of security.
Maternal bonding
A mother breast feeding—a process that facilitates mother–infant bonding.
Of all human bonds, the maternal bond
(mother–infant relationship) is one of the strongest. The maternal bond
begins to develop during pregnancy; following pregnancy, the production
of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, thus reducing anxiety
and theoretically fostering bonding. It is generally understood that
maternal oxytocin circulation can predispose some mammals to show
caregiving behavior in response to young of their species.
Breastfeeding has been reported to foster the early post-partum maternal bond, via touch, response, and mutual gazing. Extensive claims for the effect of breastfeeding were made in the 1930s by Margaret Ribble, a champion of "infant rights," but were challenged by others.
The claimed effect is not universal, and bottle-feeding mothers are
generally appropriately concerned with their babies. It is difficult to
determine the extent of causality due to a number of confounding
variables, such as the varied reasons families choose different feeding
methods. Many believe that early bonding ideally increases response and
sensitivity to the child's needs, bolstering the quality of the
mother–baby relationship—however, many exceptions can be found of highly
successful mother–baby bonds, even though early breastfeeding did not
occur, such as with premature infants who may lack the necessary sucking
strength to be successfully breastfed.
Research following Bowlby's observations (above) created some
concern about whether adoptive parents have missed some crucial period
for the child's development. However, research on The Mental and Social Life of Babies
suggested that the "parent-infant system," rather than a bond between
biologically related individuals, is an evolved fit between innate
behavior patterns of all human infants and equally evolved responses of
human adults to those infant behaviors. Thus nature "ensures some
initial flexibility with respect to the particular adults who take on
the parental role."
Paternal bonding
Father playing with his daughter—an activity that tends to strengthen the father–child bond.
In contrast to the maternal bond, paternal bonds tend to vary over the span of a child's development
in terms of both strength and stability. In fact, many children now
grow up in fatherless households and do not experience a paternal bond
at all. In general, paternal bonding is more dominant later in a child's
life after language develops. Fathers may be more influential in play
interactions as opposed to nurturance interactions. Father–child bonds
also tend to develop with respect to topics such as political views or
money, whereas mother–child bonds tend to develop in relation to topics
such as religious views or general outlooks on life.
In 2003, a researcher from Northwestern University in Illinois found that progesterone,
a hormone more usually associated with pregnancy and maternal bonding,
may also control the way men react towards their children. Specifically,
they found that a lack of progesterone reduced aggressive behavior in
male mice and stimulated them to act in a fatherly way towards their
offspring.
Human–animal bonding
A child bonding with a cat. Human to animal contact is known to reduce the physiological characteristics of stress.
The human–animal bond can occur between people and domestic or
wild animals; be it a cat as a pet or birds outside one's window. The
phrase “Human-Animal Bond” also known as HAB began to emerge as
terminology in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Research into the nature and merit of the human–animal bond began in the late 18th century when, in York, England, the Society of Friends established The Retreat
to provide humane treatment for the mentally ill. By having patients
care for the many farm animals on the estate, society officials
theorized that the combination of animal contact plus productive work
would facilitate the patients' rehabilitation. In the 1870s in Paris, a
French surgeon had patients with neurological disorders ride horses. The
patients were found to have improved their motor control and balance
and were less likely to suffer bouts of depression.
During the 1820-1870s America's Victorian middle class used the
human-animal bond to aid in children's socialization. This was an
entirely gendered process, as parents and society believed only boys had
an innate tendency towards violence and needed to be socialized towards
kindness and empathy through companion animals.
Over time pet keeping to socialize children became more gender neutral,
but even into the 1980s and 90s there remained a belief that boys
especially benefited from pet keeping due to the fact that it was one of
only ways they could practice nurturing given the limiting gender
norms.
An example of the Human-Animal Bond can be seen during World War I on the Western Front with horses. The use of this animal was widespread as over 24,000 horses and mules were used in the Canadian Expeditionary Force in World War I.
The horse connection can be seen as horses were used to pull wagons
for their drivers, as individual transport mounts for officers, and
patients for veterinarians. When researching the human-animal bond
there is a danger of anthropomorphism and projections of human
qualities.
In the 19th century, in Bielefeld, Germany, epileptic patients
were given the prescription to spend time each day taking care of cats
and dogs. The contact with the animals was found to reduce the
occurrence of seizures. As early as the 1920s people were starting to
utilize the human-animal bond not just for healing, but also granting
independence through service animals. In 1929 The Seeing Eye Inc. school
formed to train guide dogs for the blind in the United States, inspired
by dogs being trained to guide World War I veterans in Europe.
Furthermore, the idea is that the human-animal bond can provide health
benefits to humans as the animals "appeal to fundamental human needs for
companionship, comfort, and security..." In 1980, a team of scientists at the University of Pennsylvania
found that human to animal contact was found to reduce the
physiological characteristics of stress; specifically, lowered levels of
blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate, anxiety, and tension were
all found to correlate positively with human–pet bonding.
In some cases, despite its benefits, the human-animal bond can be
used for harmful purposes. The 1990s saw an increase in social and
scientific awareness of the use of companion animals as a tool for
domestic violence.
A 1997 study found that 80% of shelters reported women staying with
them had experienced their abuser threatening or harming companion
animals as a form of abuse.
A study in 2003, by the U.S. Department of Defense, based on
human-animal bonding determined that there was an improvement and
enrichment of life when animals were closely involved with humans. The study tested blood levels and noticed a rise in Oxytocin
in humans and animals which participated; Oxytocin has the ability to
lower stress, heart rate, and fear levels in humans and animals.
Historically, animals were domesticated for functional use; for
example, dogs for herding and tracking, and cats for killing mice or
rats. Today, in Western societies, their function is primarily bonding.
For example, current studies show that 60–80% of dogs sleep with their
owners at night in the bedroom, either in or on the bed.
Moreover, in the past the majority of cats were kept outside (barn
cats) whereas today most cats are kept indoors (housecats) and
considered part of the family. Currently, in the US, for example, 1.2
billion animals are kept as pets, primarily for bonding purposes. In addition, as of 1995 there were over 30 research institutions looking into the potential benefits of the human–animal bond.
Neurobiology
There is evidence in a variety of species that the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin
are involved in the bonding process, and in other forms of prosocial
and reproductive behavior. Both chemicals facilitate pair bonding and
maternal behavior in experiments on laboratory animals. In humans, there
is evidence that oxytocin and vasopressin are released during labor and breastfeeding,
and that these events are associated with maternal bonding. According
to one model, social isolation leads to stress, which is associated with
activity in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis and the release of cortisol.
Positive social interaction is associated with increased oxytocin. This
leads to bonding, which is also associated with higher levels of
oxytocin and vasopressin, and reduced stress and stress-related
hormones.
Oxytocin is associated with higher levels of trust in laboratory
studies on humans. It has been called the "cuddle chemical" for its role
in facilitating trust and attachment. In the reward centers of the limbic system, the neurotransmitter dopamine
may interact with oxytocin and further increase the likelihood of
bonding. One team of researchers has argued that oxytocin only plays a
secondary role in affiliation, and that endogenous opiates
play the central role. According to this model, affiliation is a
function of the brain systems underlying reward and memory formation.
Because the vast majority of this research has been done on
animals—and the majority of that on rodents—these findings must be taken
with caution when applied to humans. One of the few studies that looked
at the influence of hormones on human bonding compared participants who
had recently fallen in love with a control group. There were no
differences for most of the hormones measured, including LH, estradiol, progesterone, DHEAS, and androstenedione. Testosterone and FSH were lower in men who had recently fallen in love, and there was also a difference in blood cortisol
for both sexes, with higher levels in the group that was in love. These
differences disappeared after 12–28 months and may reflect the
temporary stress and arousal of a new relationship.
Prolactin
Prolactin is a peptide hormone primarily produced in the anterior pituitary gland.
Prolactin affects reproduction and lactation in humans and other
non-human mammals. It is also thought to mediate the formation of social
bonds between mothers and their infants, much like the hormone
oxytocin. In addition to prolactin’s role in the formation of social bonds, it is thought to be involved in romantic attachment,
especially in its early stages. Prolactin may also act to mediate
well-being and the positive effects of close relationships on one's
health. To do so, it alters an individual's neuroendocrine system to increase the probability of forming a strong social bond without requiring long gestation periods; this may enable bonding between mother and child in cases of adoption.
Prolactin can also influence both maternal and paternal behavior.
The administration of prolactin to female rats initiates maternal
behavior, and in bird and fish fathers, it can increase paternal
behavior, whereas antagonists to prolactin decrease paternal behavior.
In human studies, fathers with higher prolactin concentrations are more
alert and nurturing towards their infants. In a different study where
fathers and infants were observed over a six-months period after the
child was born, the researchers found that fathers with higher prolactin
levels were more likely to facilitate play with their infant. Moreover,
following the birth of the child, prolactin promotes bonding between
the father and the newborn.
Prolactin levels can also increase during socially stressful situations in humans. This has been seen by administering the Trier Social Stress Test
(TSST), and then measuring blood serum prolactin concentrations. The
TSST is a widely accepted stress test in which the research subject
undergoes a mock job interview and then a mental arithmetic task in
front of a three-person committee. This test is proven to simulate
social psychological stress.
After the administration of this test, significantly higher prolactin
levels can be observed in the serum. There is a large variation in the
amount prolactin levels increase in different individuals, however the
effect is not significantly different between men and women.
Weak ties
In 1962, while a freshman history major at Harvard, Mark Granovetter became enamored of the concepts underlying the classic chemistry lecture in which "weak" hydrogen bonds hold huge numbers of water molecules together, which themselves are held together by "strong" covalent bonds. This model was the stimulus behind his famous 1973 paper The Strength of Weak Ties, which is now considered a classic paper in sociology.
Weak social bonds are believed to be responsible for the majority of the embeddedness and structure of social networks
in society as well as the transmission of information through these
networks. Specifically, more novel information flows to individuals
through weak than through strong ties. Because our close friends tend to
move in the same circles that we do, the information they receive
overlaps considerably with what we already know. Acquaintances, by
contrast, know people that we do not, and thus receive more novel
information. There are some demographic groups, such as alexythimics, who may find it very difficult to bond or share an emotional connection with others.
Debonding and loss
In 1953, sociologist Diane Vaughan proposed an uncoupling theory.
It states that during the dynamics of relationship breakup, there
exists a "turning point," only noted in hindsight, followed by a
transition period in which one partner unconsciously knows the
relationship is going to end, but holds on to it for an extended period,
sometimes for a number of years.
When a person to which one has become bonded is lost, a grief
response may occur. Grief is the process of accepting the loss and
adjusting to the changed situation. Grief may take longer than the
initial development of the bond. The grief process varies with culture.
